Tag: joke
member name: Gene P.
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January 11, 2009 07:18 PM EST --
A lady about eight months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. . . .
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January 13, 2009 10:29 PM EST --
Two rednecks decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.
The first went in to see the counselor, who told him to take math, history, and . . .
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January 21, 2009 10:19 AM EST --
10. The monitor is up on blocks.
9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them.
8. The six front keys have rotted out.
7. The extra RAM slots have truck parts installed in them.
6. The numeric . . .
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April 01, 2009 05:44 PM EDT --
AN aircraft passenger was only joking when he implied he had a ticking bomb and wanted to chop the head off the man sitting next to him on a flight to Cairns.
A court was told the behaviour of Patrick . . .
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February 21, 2009 06:22 PM EST --
A teenager who put a four-week-old kitten in a microwave has been given 120 hours community service and banned from keeping pets for seven years.
Declan Baker, 18, from Forfar, drunk half a bottle . . .
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January 10, 2009 12:57 AM EST --
Farmer Joe was in an accident with a semi-truck. Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court, the . . .
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January 10, 2009 01:32 AM EST --
A drunk walks into a bar and says to the bartender (with a drunken slur), "bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill."
So, the bartender does just . . .
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January 10, 2009 01:55 AM EST --
There were 5 people aboard an airplane having engine trouble getting ready to crash; however, there were only 4 parachutes. Everyone wondered what should be done to determine who should get the parachutes. . . .
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January 10, 2009 02:20 AM EST --
A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that his poor patient has had practically every therapy known to man for . . .
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January 10, 2009 10:14 PM EST --
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Arizona. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer . . .
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January 11, 2009 02:39 AM EST --
Sam & Becky are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary and Sam says to Becky, "So, Becky, I was wondering... Have you ever cheated on me?" Becky replies, "Oh Sam, why would you . . .
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January 11, 2009 07:26 PM EST --
One night, at the lodge of a hunting club, two new members were being introduced to other members and shown around. The man leading them around said, "See that old man asleep in the chair by the . . .
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January 11, 2009 07:46 PM EST --
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around her apartment, he notices that her bedroom is completely . . .
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January 11, 2009 08:17 PM EST --
As a new bride, Aunt Edna moved into the small home on her husband's ranch near Snowflake. She put a shoe box on a shelf in her closet and asked her husband never to touch it. For fifty years Uncle . . .
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January 11, 2009 09:33 PM EST --
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if . . .
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January 11, 2009 10:58 PM EST --
A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. . . .
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January 11, 2009 11:03 PM EST --
Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They . . .
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January 12, 2009 12:26 AM EST --
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel . . .
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January 12, 2009 12:56 AM EST --
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All . . .
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January 12, 2009 12:44 PM EST --
An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man, "I need a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm . . .
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